Discover your why.
The first stage of “the lifestyle” is to really discover who you are in each of the roles you perform. We focus a lot on role of “self” in this stage – how you show up in all the roles of your life are rooted in the foundation of who you are.
The first tool we explore in the lifestyle is “Ask”: Asking is something we often forget to do. If we don’t ask for something we want, it is very hard to get it. One of the first things we want to ask along this journey of self-discovery and improvement is “Why?” In Simon’s Sinek’s book “Start with Why” challenges all of us to start by asking ourselves why we do the things we do.
The fun part of self-discovery and improvement, or even in just refining existing roles you have in your life, is that you get to act like an investigator. If you start this process by asking yourself why you do what you do, what might the next question be? Why do I want to know why I do the things I do? If we keep asking ourselves who, what, when, where, why, and how until there really is no way to answer ourselves, that is when we really start finding the good stuff.
The interesting part about this type of investigation is that most of us operate at three levels: what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. It is pretty simple to answer the question, what do I do? You might teach, or you are in network marketing and sell essential oils. Regardless of the answer it is usually pretty easy for you to figure out what you do.
The next operational level is how you do something. If you teach, you know how to do it. (I tend to be a positive person, so I am going to presume competence here and in all the posts, just so you know.). If you sell wellness products, you know how to sell.
However, if you are asked why you sell wellness products or why you teach 3rd graders, is the answer as easy to articulate?
So, what is your why? Better yet, what is “the why” and how do you define it. For the sake of simplicity, and because I am a big fan, let’s use the definition that Simon Sinek’s talks about in his book. He says “the why” is the purpose, cause or belief that drives everyone. Why do you exist? Why do you get out of bed? Why should you care?
Once you figure out why you do what you do, it is like you become a diehard advocate for that cause. The hard part about finding your why is that it is often rooted in how you feel about something. Feelings are in a different part of the brain than logic. So, you might say you feel good about helping new business owners learn the ropes. What you do is coach new business owner, how you do it is by asking great questions. Why you do it? Well, I don’t know – you tell me.
There is a great blog post about the science of why that explains the reason the what and how seem so much easier to explain, but the why we do what we do is harder. The interesting part of knowing the science behind something is that you then see reasons for things that may not have made sense before. This newfound logically look at it can unlock new strategies you can use to level up. Knowing why other people what they do is often referred to learning how to persuade or influence others.
If, by learning why other people do you can influence them, doesn’t it make sense that you could also learn how to better persuade or influence yourself if you had a better handle on why you do what you do?
The So What
So, what you might say. Is there anything you want in life you don’t have yet? Is there a role that you are filling in your life right now that could be improved, but you don’t know how you could go about it? Have you ever wanted to accomplish something, but you just didn’t “feel” like it?
Yeah, me too. The “so what” is if you can discover why you are filling a specific role – you can then tap more readily into your own person drive or passion for the work. When the what you are doing or how you are doing it gets you down, you can use the why you are doing it to push through. When you want to influence others to do something different to enhance your role, knowing their why can help you influence them into doing it your way.
The Next Step
There are a number of great articles and blog posts on how to find what drives you. One great reference in Inc magazine by Marcel Schwantes called “5 Simple Ways to Discover Your Life’s Purpose” is a great place to start.
Our #pressplay workshops will help you use our #pressplay blueprint to discover your why for the various roles in your life. Look for future posts on the topic as well.
Tell us, what do you think of the Discover stage of the #pressplay lifestyle?